Common CV / Resume Mistakes
Profile / Objective
By forcing the employer to read your entire CV / Resume to figure out what kind of job you’re suited for, you create more work them.
Given the average recruitment manager spends less than ten seconds reviewing a CV / Resume this is the last thing you want to do!
Ensure a profile / objective is on your CV / Resume and that it is tailored to the position you are applying for.
If you’ve held several similar, short term positions, focus your CV / Resume on your skills and achievements, rather than detailing every single place of work.
Always use the expressions “Freelance” or “Contract work” never temporary and state the length of the contract and the fact you successfully completed it.
If you’ve had a number of jobs from one agency, give the agency name and dates as one continuous employer rather splitting it all up.
Tailoring Your CV
Each company is looking for a CV / Resume and cover letter that applies as much as possible to their role.
As all roles are different, you should make small changes for each job applied for so that it matches their specific requirements. Where possible, always request a job spec or use the job advert to tailor your CV / Resume. This will greatly increase your chances of being selected for an interview.
However good your CV / Resume looks you are not going to get any replies if no one can contact you.
With email address before sending ensure your .com isn’t a .co.uk and your physical address isn’t the house you used to live in.
Spelling & Grammar
You should always spell check your CV / Resume (if composing on a computer) and ensure that the dictionary language is set to English UK rather than English United States.
If possible, always worth getting someone else to proof read your document to spot any errors that you may have overlooked.
When it comes to grammar, we are not all experts. A simple trick is reading the CV / Resume out loud. If it doesn’t sound correct, then it probably won’t read very well either.
Social Networking Sites
In fact, more and more companies conduct a social media check prior to offering a position. Before sending your CV / Resume ensure that your privacy settings are updated, otherwise your future boss can easily find those embarrassing pictures of what you got up to last Friday night.
Top 50 CV / Resume Mistakes
Here is a list of the top 50 Funny CV / Resume mistakes which we have compiled from various places across the internet. All these mistakes are real and were actually written on people’s CV’s / Resumes or applications. So, take heart in whatever you put on yours, we are sure it will not be as bad as some of these.
- Career break in 1999 to renovate my horse”
- “1990 – 1997: Stewardess – Royal Air Force”
- Hobbies: “enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians”
- “Service for old man to check they are still alive or not.”
- Cleaning skills: “bleaching, pot washing, window cleaning, mopping, e.t.c”
- “2001 summer Voluntary work for taking care of the elderly and vegetable people”
- “I’m interested to here more about that. I’m working today in a furniture factory as a drawer”
- “I am about to enrol on a Business and Finance Degree with the Open University. I feel that this qualification will prove detrimental to me for future success.”
- Woman who sent her CV and cover letter without deleting someone else’s editing, including such comments as “I don’t think you want to say this about yourself here
- Other Interests: “Playing with my two dogs (They actually belong to my wife but I love the dogs more than my wife)”.
- “One applicant used colored paper and drew glitter designs around the border”
- Why Interested in Position: “to keep my parole officer from putting back me in jail”
- A woman had attached a picture of herself in a mini mouse costume
- Under “job related skills” – for a web designer – “can function without additional oxygen at 24,000 feet”.
- Objective: “career on the Information Supper Highway”
- “I am great with the pubic.”.
- “My duties included cleaning the restrooms and seating the customers.”
- One applicant for a nursing position noted that she didn’t like dealing with blood or needles.
- A CV… had several grease stains and a smudge of chocolate on it
- Candidate explained a gap in employment by saying it was because he was getting over the death of his cat for three months.
- “Planned new corporate facility at $3 million over budget.”
- “Seeking a party-time position with potential for advancement.”
- “I often use a laptap.”
- “Finished eighth in my class of ten.
- “Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.”
- “It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”
- “Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.”
- “I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”
- “I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.”
- “Marital status: often. Children: various.”
- Interests: “Gossiping.”
- Languages: “Speak English and Spinach.”
- Reason for leaving: “I thought the world was coming to an end.”
- Qualifications: “I have guts, drive, ambition and heart, which is probably more than a lot of the drones that you have working for you.”
- Objective: “I need money because I have bills to pay and I would like to have a life, go out partying, please my young wife with gifts, and have a menu entrée consisting of more than soup.”
- Bad traits: “I am very bad about time and don’t mind admitting it. Having to arrive at a certain hour doesn’t make sense to me. What does make sense is that I do the job. Any company that insists upon rigid time schedules will find me a nightmare.”
- Application: Why should an employer hire you? “I bring doughnuts on Friday.”
- Special skills: “I’ve got a Ph.D. in human feelings.”
- Experience: “Child care provider: Organized activities; prepared lunches and snakes.”
- Work experience: “Responsibilities included checking customers out.”
- Cover letter: “Experienced in all faucets of accounting.”
- Personal: “I am loyal and know when to keep my big mouth shut.”
- “I am fully aware of the king of attention this position requires.”
- References: “Please do not contact my immediate supervisor at the company. My colleagues will give me a better reference.”
- Experience: “My father is a computer programmer, so I have 15 years of computer experience.”
- Education: “I have a bachelorette degree in computers.
- Application: How large was the department you worked in with your last company? “A: 3 stories.
- A CV listed a skill as “being bi-lingual in three languages”
- In the section that read “Emergency Contact Number” she wrote “999”
- Languages: “Fluent in English. Also I have been heard muttering Gibberish in my sleep.”
We have reviewed, written and analysed thousands of CVs, Resumes and LinkedIn profiles for individuals at all levels.